A transcript of a verbal testimony I shared in-person at my baptism on 12th April - please note, identities/names have been changed and this has been noted with an asterisk. x

Thank you all for coming. A lot of you have been to plenty of Sugerman events in the past, and I know this one is a little different. For many of you this may be the first baptism you’ve ever been to - and it really means a lot to me that you’re here and have taken the time and effort. 

There may even be more follow up questions after this or conversations to be had - and I want you to know I have a complete open door to everything and love talking about it - even the hard questions. And if I don’t know the answer, there’s an Anglican minister here for free for a limited time only so go bug him….(JOKING).

As a young child, I always believed in a higher power. The world is way too much of a miracle for it to be a random coincidence. It was very apparent to me that everything created naturally on this earth had a function and a purpose - it was made that way. I looked around at the magnificence and miraculousness of everything, from the thousands of signals per second our brain sends and receives, to how if we had the nth % more or less gravity on this earth, the whole thing would implode. I look at the fact we can get everything we need to live from the Earth and that our bodies are self-healing organisms, each uniquely made. There was a unifying force that moved through everything we are; a source of life. I didn’t know it at the time, but that was God. And He lovingly covered me, my family and my loved ones in seasons and chapters of life when we didn’t even realise. It was a miracle the family line even made it through war, poverty, murder, suicide etc., the way it did. 

2020 was a year of immense change for the world. COVID, contact-tracing, lockdowns etc.,

And…. Lucy had her first crush on a Christian boy. Guys, I really wish there was a more righteous or honourable or riveting story plot here but I think God knows what it takes to get me moving. And when I decide I like someone, I have a track record of giving things a red hot crack no matter what. A hopeless romantic, if you will. This is definitely making my parents laugh, and they are nodding. Said boy’s family didn’t approve of us dating, and neither did a lot of his friends. 

This meant I simply had to deeply read the entire New Testament of the Bible and some well-known Old Testament books. Not to understand why it isn’t recommended for people of different religions and belief systems to date, but because 18 year old Lucy Sugerman from Canberra was going to debunk this book I was told was ridiculous, old-fashioned and terribly outdated and oppressive. I’d read bits and pieces before without really thinking about the words on the page. A lot of the ‘world’ just said it was wack job stuff.

But what I found when I actually sat down and read this thing this time around… was life-giving. Particularly in the Gospels about Jesus’ life. There was profound wisdom found in every single word: the cross-references throughout all the books, the moral standard and lessons presented, the way the Bible revealed who God is and things about His character, and things about human nature and who we are. I found every hang-up and preconception I had about ‘organised religion’ (e.g., religious leaders taking advantage of people and their money, to experiences with people being judgemental or acting above other people) - were exactly the opposite of what was actually instructed of us in the Bible. Jesus called that behaviour out very clearly. He sat with the outcasts of society, He taught that everyone was truly equal before God, He called us to fully love and serve one another and He predicted all of these things about humanity that would come to be true. I could see that what was written in the Bible about humans was exactly mirrored in nature: in our bodies, biology, human behaviour and how our brains worked. I was fascinated that many Books of the Bible were written by ordinary people; poor and often illiterate people who were killed by the state for their beliefs. That’s a miracle in itself. I began to realise that the spiritual world is very very real and serious - there are things that are of God, and then there is everything else. There’s a lot of dark stuff going on in the world (as is really really obvious now), and you’re either for it or against it.

Humans are broken: we fall short of what’s right and make plenty of mistakes and can do horrible things - like I said, look at the world at the moment. And there is such huge suffering as a result of it. And yet, God gives us so much grace that we are given second chances to try and try and try again until we leave this Earth. And He gave us that grace with Jesus - His son, a man who walked perfectly and did not fall short of what God calls us to do. He who was God, who was almighty, made himself a servant and human, to walk with us. To sit with outcasts, to unconditionally love, and to ultimately pay the price for all the brokenness of humans with his death. 

We can all agree with justice - and we scientifically know there is always an equal reaction to any action. A debt must be paid. And Jesus bore every sin and mistake of humanity by living a life completely without sin on our behalf, and bearing the painful eternal death that sin deserves. And there’s nothing I or you ever did to earn it. Without it, our souls would be forever without God. Jesus’ life is redemption personified: His death doesn’t excuse the sin, or the bad things that happen - but it ensures that it won’t have the final word or power over us - transforming sin (even when he didn’t cause it) into grace and mercy. I often think of it as ‘breaking the cycle’. In same vein, there is always something to learn from bad things - it is a gift we even get that opportunity. We know the effect and importance of gratitude for our health - and directing that to our creator is transformative. 

Romans 8:28 says: ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’

I rationally knew this was all true for years. It just clicked. But it took a really really long time for my heart and behaviour to respond, and to humbly admit I needed God. So badly. 

Around the time I started learning about who Jesus was, I had also started to come to know alcohol and other things. I was in a long-term relationship that certainly was not the right thing at all, and the pandemic and all the ugliness that came with it played a huge part in my life. The thing about realising God is real is that suddenly every action and day means something. And life starts to deeply, deeply mean something - which is awesome, but also can be a lot to reckon with (aka - the pressure one might put on themselves out of pride can be overwhelming PS. that kind of pressure is not in God’s character, I did that lol). I was terrified of going to church (to me it was a social and anxiety-inducing nightmare at the time) and didn’t really have anyone close to me to talk about all these big concepts. But when you start actually saying yes to God and trying to reach out to Him, He starts moving no matter how much you resist it. He starts putting friends and people in your life to teach you things and to shape you as human. God will chase you, even if you try to run to other things to fill your heart’s longing for fulfilment and eternity - such as work or boyfriends or drugs. Trust me, I know. (It’s lowkey still happening now!).

I met my wonderful friends Rose* and Jacob* in the early years of knowing God, and we particularly became close over lockdowns. 2021 was a particularly isolating and weird year for me, for all of us. I was mentally in a terrible terrible place. I woke up one morning during lockdown and just got this feeling I should reach out to Jacob and ask to go for a walk. I didn’t clock it at the time, but that ‘feeling’ was God giving me a nudge (you might know that feeling as ‘gut-feeling’ or ‘discernment’ or ‘conscience’). Within 5 minutes of our walk up Mount Taylor, unprompted without me mentioning a thing, Jacob* brought up exactly what I was going through in terms of lockdowns and all that fun stuff of the time, and my relationship with God. He was the first person I’d freely been able to talk about all these encounters I’d had with God and also my anxieties about where the world was headed. It was one of the most profound and freeing conversations I’d experienced. And it came from following that prompt - those little nagging gut feelings we get - which I now know are gifts from the Lord.  

Through Jacob* I got to know Rose*. Rose and I have since become some of the best of friends and I am so incredibly grateful to know Rose and the radiant and courageous woman she is. I always thought that an indicator of a person’s spirit and character is how they hold and conduct themselves and treat others during adversity - and Rose has constantly inspired me with how incredibly she does that and so many other things with so much spirit and reverence in our day to day lives over the past 4 years I’ve known her. 

I can see that same quality in each and every of my wonderful friends and family here today - I invited you specifically by the way, and I can see that that strength comes from our amazing creator, our God. 

Rose and Jacob at the time both showed me what a Christian could look like - they were relatable, wonderful, real, deeply supportive and honest. They opened my eyes to the importance of fellowship. Christians aren’t perfect, and life isn’t perfect. Life is messy. And being a Christian isn’t about ticking boxes or getting everything right, it’s about having a deep faith in Jesus and allowing God to be your guide for everything. And my gosh, I’ve gotten so many things wrong and continue to do so. But lessons are all the more transformative leaning on Him, and His word to try and do His will. And He will always make things right, in the end. 

Unknown to me, across the Tasman in New Zealand, a long time family friend of mine had started coming to know Jesus - at the exact same time as I was. Neither of us were not raised in Christian households. Reading the Bible was not really a thing for us or most people we knew. Both of us were going through our separate hurdles through COVID, and I heard about it through the grapevine and it wasn’t until late 2023 when I went over for some recording and to visit we finally talked about our encounters with Jesus. It was pretty profound to go through it at the same time, without knowing and both the first in our immediate families and social circles from Canberra to become Christian. And in a full circle moment, said family friend Zeke* and his amazing soon to be wife Esther* have just moved to Canberra this week and are here today! Praise God.

Throughout 2021, 2022 and 2023 I would be in and out and in and out in terms of my walk with God. There were a lot of things that had huge holds over me: boys, drinking, partying, other people’s approval, debilitating shame about my own mistakes; things like work and seeking the next big applause or academic success (nb: and plenty of other things I probably won’t share on the internet at this stage). I kept putting off attending a Church because I was ‘too busy’ or ‘they wouldn’t like me’ and I was too out there and not the right type of person to really go deeper with my faith and start actually living it out.  I was actually terrified because I knew going to Church and having that accountability would likely mean having to face the uglier parts of my character and mistakes. I was still so flimsy, and snappy and mentally unwell. My own pride was deeply getting in the way. No amount of ‘self discipline’ or ‘self-care’ was helping. And I was not helping my community and not showing up for my friends or family in the way I knew I could. But it’s funny - I think ‘religion’ tells us to try harder to fix these things on our own accord, but Jesus, in His word and spirit, invites us to change our thinking and stop believing lies about ourselves. Once our beliefs about ourselves are liberated, our behaviour and actions will follow. 

As they say, the truth will set you free. And Jesus literally said that - in John 8:32: ….Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” 

And it was that same weird feeling, that so-called ‘random’ nudge that prompted me in mid-2023 to walk through the doors of Good Shepherd Anglican Church for the first time. Quite literally, I woke up on a random Tuesday and realised I had to go to Church. That was the Holy Spirit. And then things started to really change. I was spending every Sunday committed to learning from the Bible and praising God and spending time with believers. It became a transformed behaviour once I stopped believing the lie that I was too broken or out there to go to Church - and also stopped believing my own pride. Just as instructed - Hebrews 10:25 speaks of ‘…Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another…’. 

A lot of the time at the start, I would slip in quietly at the back and run off as soon as the service was done. I was still struggling with my own belief that I didn’t ‘fit in’. God’s transformation in us can often be gradual, as we know. During all of this, there were many people who I would later find out were praying for me often. 

I only went to my first ever Bible study last year, by the grace of God after a really terrible relationship ended and within it was a really awful incident. That was the biggest turning point. It was led by a guy called Caleb* at his and his wife Maria* at their old home in Fisher, and Rose invited me along. I cried when I found out they had been praying for me for weeks and months prior to me showing up. The group was my first time sitting down and talking about the Bible with other people. It changed my life.

Another one was my grandma, my Ba’Ngoai. The power of prayer is very real, and I’ve always felt strangely protected and okay - and I know I have been covered by my Ba’Ngoai’s prayers my entire life. Even when she went through some of the most horrible horrible losses one could ever imagine, Ba’Ngoai was still praying for all of us. 

I played with the worship team in my current church for the first time earlier this year and was continually encouraged over the past couple of months by Caleb* and the worship team and a new friend I’d made friend Noah*. It was my first time singing in a Church as a believer in Jesus. And that was when it truly, deeply clicked for me. Music has always been a constant and intrinsic part of my life - and yet no TV show or international tour came close to the joy and fulfillment from singing songs with a congregation of people who were praising and celebrating God - the God that gave me my love and affinity for music in the first place. To get to the point I am now was a slow and necessary burn. And God was so patient, and everything arrived in good time. On God’s time. 

Today is about completely and utterly committing myself to faithfully doing something good with this gift of being alive and the gift of redemption, to glorify our God. Publicly. I am officially LOCKED IN. And the best thing I can possibly ever do with any of these blessings is say yes to Jesus. It’s humbling and beautiful to be at the mercy of God in all my deep flaws and how temporary this life is. To completely lean into the unknown and trust who He is, and know that I can do nothing good at all on my own, and never have. It’s freeing and wild. I hope you can believe me; it is transformational. It’s transformational, forming a deep reverence for everything and everyone for they were made by God. To pray, to slow down, to feel more peace and fulfilment every single day even as the world around us objectively gets worse as a result of our human choice to sin. But God challenges me to see all people as He does - valuable, full of potential and made in his image to be like Him, capable of good. It’s so so special and profound. And all credit to Him.

When grief is present like ever before, God is present even more. Praise of God is not necessarily the absence of grief or suffering (I’d say it usually isn’t), but it’s a determination to keep praising Him and waking up and keep going even when the grief or suffering is deeply present. 

God is infinite and loving and so incredible that no words will ever really do Him justice - and I find it difficult to encapsulate the impact He’s made on my life in a few short words. I really really appreciate you all being here and listening and witnessing this with me. Some of you travelled far to be here because you know me, and you who are here want to celebrate and be a part of what I celebrate even if you don’t necessarily believe it or understand it and that means so so much to me you could be here, and know I would do that for you too. I want to thank the Associate Minister at my church for his guidance and mentorship over the past few months as I prepare for this day, to Caleb and Maria and their family for generously opening their home, my church family, all my beautiful friends here and my wonderful family for being so supportive always - and most of all I want to thank God for being alive and for the opportunity to know and love Him. 

I really mean every word I said today and don’t share this lightly - I hope maybe it could have touched your heart or mind in some way if this is all very new to you. Maybe it might change what you think a Christian looks like, or is. 

If there’s one thing I can encourage you to do at least once in your life it is to pick up a Bible and read it. It’s historically fascinating, brimming with every moral and spiritual lesson you could think of, and I reckon it’s great for your brain and intellect to wrestle with what’s written in there - but most of all, it could completely transform and renew your life. 

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Galatians 5:13-14